80 Witty quotes and sayings with mind-blowing humor

80 Witty quotes and sayings with mind-blowing humor


80 Witty quotes and sayings with mind-blowing humor. Here are the best witty quotes and sayings to read that will give you inspiration and will make you smile at the same time, famous humorous quotes that can spice up your boring life, short funny quotes and sayings that will shock you and short inspirational quotes on being witty and amusing in which you can learn wisdom and knowledge that you can use and apply in real-life situations that you can share with your friends, family, and loved ones.


Witty quotes and sayings with mind-blowing humor

1. When you are angry try your best to go to sleep, it keeps you away from speaking, writing and thinking while you are angry. - Amit Kalantri



Witty quotes and sayings with mind-blowing humor

2. A life lived in fear is a life half-lived. - Spanish proverb



Witty quotes and sayings with mind-blowing humor

3. All progress has resulted from people who took unpopular positions. - Adlai E. Stevenson



Witty quotes and sayings with mind-blowing humor

4. Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right. - Henry Ford



Witty quotes and sayings with mind-blowing humor

5. The best way to have a good idea is to have lots of ideas. - Linus Pauling



Witty quotes and sayings with mind-blowing humor

6. If money doesn’t grow on trees why do bank have branches? - Anonymous



Witty quotes and sayings with mind-blowing humor

7. So just let me deal with it, I can be emotionally flawed and still love you all at the same time. I’m a great multitasker. - Holly Hood



Witty quotes and sayings with mind-blowing humor

8. A conservative is a man with two perfectly good legs who, however, has never learned how to walk forward. - Franklin D. Roosevelt



Witty quotes and sayings with mind-blowing humor

9. You can tell whether a man is clever by his answers. You can tell whether a man is wise by his questions. - Naguib Mahfouz



Witty quotes and sayings with mind-blowing humor

10. Intelligence is more important than strength, that is why earth is ruled by men and not by animals. - Amit Kalantri


Witty quotes and sayings with mind-blowing humor

11. Human beings aren’t rational animals; we’re rationalizing animals who want to appear reasonable to ourselves. - Eliot Aronson


Witty quotes and sayings with mind-blowing humor

12. I wasn't used to guys making me blush, and I wasn't sure why he even was making me blush. - Holly Hood


Witty quotes and sayings with mind-blowing humor

13. Pretending to care what men think is an art. It takes moments to learn, but lifetimes to master. I’d like to believe I’m an expert. - Dennis Sharpe


Witty quotes and sayings with mind-blowing humor

14. You should praise, criticize and flirt with people right to their face, only then it will make a difference. - Amit Kalantri


Witty quotes and sayings with mind-blowing humor

15. Management is doing things right; leadership is doing the right things. - Peter Drucker


Witty quotes and sayings with mind-blowing humor

16. Arguing with a fool proves there are two. - Doris M. Smith


Witty quotes and sayings with mind-blowing humor

17. You noticed that I wore this outfit twice? Why, the only thing you wear twice is a sour expression. - L.M. Montgomery


Witty quotes and sayings with mind-blowing humor

18. We find comfort among those who agree with us, and growth among those who don’t. - Frank A. Clark


Witty quotes and sayings with mind-blowing humor

19. I am not fat, I am just easier to see. - Unknown



Witty quotes and sayings with mind-blowing humor

20. Friends are like melons; shall I tell you why? To find a good one, you must one hundred try. - Claude Mermet


Witty quotes and sayings with mind-blowing humor

21. By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day. - Robert Frost


Witty quotes and sayings with mind-blowing humor

22. It ain’t what you know that gets you into trouble. It’s what you know for sure that just ain’t so. - Mark Twain


Witty quotes and sayings with mind-blowing humor

23. Don’t be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment. - Ralph Waldo Emerson


Witty quotes and sayings with mind-blowing humor

24. Improve by 1% a day, and in just 70 days, you’re twice as good. - Alan Weiss


Witty quotes and sayings with mind-blowing humor

25. The worst distance between two people is misunderstanding. - Unknown


Witty quotes and sayings with mind-blowing humor

26. Don’t worry about people stealing an idea. If it’s original, you will have to ram it down their throats. - Howard Aiken


Witty quotes and sayings with mind-blowing humor

27. I don’t have a bad handwriting. I have my own font. - Anonymous


Witty quotes and sayings with mind-blowing humor

28. Whoever best describes a problem is the one most likely to solve it. - Dan Roam


Witty quotes and sayings with mind-blowing humor

29. Dreams have only one owner at a time. That’s why dreamers are lonely. -  Erma Bombeck



Witty quotes and sayings with mind-blowing humor

30. Time is a great healer, but a poor beautician. - Lucille S. Harper


Witty quotes and sayings with mind-blowing humor

31. I not only use all the brains I have, but all that I can borrow. - Woodrow Wilson


Witty quotes and sayings with mind-blowing humor

32. Everyone has a sense of humor. If you don’t laugh at jokes, you probably laugh at opinions. - Criss Jami


Witty quotes and sayings with mind-blowing humor

33. What gets measured gets managed. - Peter Drucker


Witty quotes and sayings with mind-blowing humor

34. Faced with the choice between changing one’s mind and proving that there is no need to do so, almost everyone gets busy on the proof. - John Kenneth Galbraith


Witty quotes and sayings with mind-blowing humor

35. Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them. - Anonymous


Witty quotes and sayings with mind-blowing humor

36. The first principle is that you must not fool yourself, and you are the easiest person to fool. - Richard P. Feynman


Witty quotes and sayings with mind-blowing humor

37. Fools learn from experience. Wise men learn from the experience of others. - Otto von Bismarck


Witty quotes and sayings with mind-blowing humor

38. All mankind is divided into three groups: those who are immovable; those who are movable; and those who move. - Benjamin Franklin


Witty quotes and sayings with mind-blowing humor

39. I am not arguing. I am simply explaining why I’m right. - Anonymous



Witty quotes and sayings with mind-blowing humor

40. An ounce of action is worth a ton of theory. - Ralph Waldo Emerson


Witty quotes and sayings with mind-blowing humor

41. Your true value depends entirely on what you are compared with. - Unknown


Witty quotes and sayings with mind-blowing humor

42. The problem human beings face is not that we aim too high and fail, but that we aim too low and succeed. - Michelangelo


Witty quotes and sayings with mind-blowing humor

43. Genius is one percent inspiration, ninety-nine percent perspiration. - Thomas Alva Edison


Witty quotes and sayings with mind-blowing humor

44. Knowledge is proud she knows so much; wisdom is humble that she knows no more. - William Cowper


Witty quotes and sayings with mind-blowing humor

45. Every man is the architect of his own fortune. - Anonymous


Witty quotes and sayings with mind-blowing humor

46. We can’t always build the future for our youth, but we can build our youth for the future. - Franklin D. Roosevelt


Witty quotes and sayings with mind-blowing humor

47. He who wrestles with us, strengthens our nerves and sharpens our skills. Our antagonist is our helper. - Edmund Burke


Witty quotes and sayings with mind-blowing humor

48. If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will avoid one hundred days of sorrow. - Chinese Proverb


Witty quotes and sayings with mind-blowing humor

49. How you think when you lose determines how long it will be until you win. - Gilbert Keith Chesterton



Witty quotes and sayings with mind-blowing humor

50. Do your own thinking independently. Be the chess player, not the chess piece. - Ralph Charell


Witty quotes and sayings with mind-blowing humor

51. Assumption is the mother of all screw-ups. - Unknown


Witty quotes and sayings with mind-blowing humor

52. It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change. - Charles Darwin


Witty quotes and sayings with mind-blowing humor

53. Playing it safe is the riskiest choice we can ever make. - Sarah Ban Breathnach


Witty quotes and sayings with mind-blowing humor

54. I don’t let go of concepts –I meet them with understanding. Then they let go of me. - Byron Katie


Witty quotes and sayings with mind-blowing humor

55. The greatest risk is to risk nothing at all. - Anonymous


Witty quotes and sayings with mind-blowing humor

56. The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make a mistake. - Elbert Hubbard


Witty quotes and sayings with mind-blowing humor

57. I suppose it is tempting, if the only tool you have is a hammer, to treat everything as if it were a nail. - Abraham Maslow


Witty quotes and sayings with mind-blowing humor

58. It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. - Tom Robbins


Witty quotes and sayings with mind-blowing humor

59. If everything seems to be coming your way, you’re probably in the wrong lane. - Unknown



Witty quotes and sayings with mind-blowing humor

60. However beautiful the strategy, you should occasionally look at the results. - Winston Churchill


Witty quotes and sayings with mind-blowing humor

61. I’m an angel. The horns are only there to hold up the halo. - Suzanne Wright


Witty quotes and sayings with mind-blowing humor

62. There is never a better measure of what a person is than what he does when he’s absolutely free to choose. - William M. Bulger


Witty quotes and sayings with mind-blowing humor

63. Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for the truth. - Benjamin Disraeli


Witty quotes and sayings with mind-blowing humor

64. If you’re not failing every now and again, it’s a sign you’re not doing anything very innovative. - Woody Allen


Witty quotes and sayings with mind-blowing humor

65. Life is like a bird, it’s pretty cute until it shits on your head. - Anonymous


Witty quotes and sayings with mind-blowing humor

66. My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person. He believed in me. - Jim Valvano


Witty quotes and sayings with mind-blowing humor

67. It is far better to be alone, than to be in bad company. - George Washington


Witty quotes and sayings with mind-blowing humor

68. Life’s tragedy is that we get old too soon and wise too late. - Benjamin Franklin


Witty quotes and sayings with mind-blowing humor

69. Keep the dream alive: Hit the snooze button. - Unknown



Witty quotes and sayings with mind-blowing humor

70. If Plan A doesn’t work, the alphabet has 25 more letters. Keep calm. - Anonymous


Witty quotes and sayings with mind-blowing humor

71. It’s true hard work never killed anybody, but I figure, why take the chance? - Ronald Reagan


Witty quotes and sayings with mind-blowing humor

72. Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forward. - Soren Kierkegaard


Witty quotes and sayings with mind-blowing humor

73. Maturity involves turning an insult into a feedback. - Aniekee Tochukwu Ezekiel


Witty quotes and sayings with mind-blowing humor

74. Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle. - Plato


Witty quotes and sayings with mind-blowing humor

75. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station. - Anonymous


Witty quotes and sayings with mind-blowing humor

76. The world hates change yet it is the only thing that has brought progress. - Charles F. Kettering


Witty quotes and sayings with mind-blowing humor

77. Nothing is so fatiguing as the eternal hanging on of an uncompleted task. - William James


Witty quotes and sayings with mind-blowing humor

78. Some fellows get credit for being conservative when they are only stupid. - Kim Hubbard


Witty quotes and sayings with mind-blowing humor

79. Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die. - Unknown



Witty quotes and sayings with mind-blowing humor

80.  I’ll go anywhere as long as it’s forward. -  David Livingstone

80 Witty quotes and sayings with mind-blowing humor 80 Witty quotes and sayings with mind-blowing humor Reviewed by Kerr S. on August 24, 2019 Rating: 5

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