70 Funny sarcastic inspirational quotes about life and people

70 Funny sarcastic inspirational quotes about life and people




70 Funny sarcastic inspirational quotes about life and people. Here are the best sarcastic quotes to read from famous people that will make you think and inspire you at the same time. Receiving a sarcastic comment from others sometimes packs a punch, but don't take it negatively, instead use that to your advantage for improving yourself. May these sarcastic inspirational quotes help you to handle criticism in a gentle way, cultivate a positive mindset that will make you smile along the way. Share these sarcastic quotes about life with your friends, family, and loved ones to inspire them as well.


Funny sarcastic inspirational quotes about life and people

1. Life is hard; it’s harder if you’re stupid. - John Wayne



Funny sarcastic inspirational quotes about life and people

2. People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day. - A. A. Milne



Funny sarcastic inspirational quotes about life and people

3. I’m such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own. - Woody Allen



Funny sarcastic inspirational quotes about life and people

4. The four most beautiful words in our common language: I told you so. - Gore Vidal



Funny sarcastic inspirational quotes about life and people

5. A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he’s finished. - Zsa Zsa Gabor



Funny sarcastic inspirational quotes about life and people

6. If you want to change the world, do it while you’re single. Once you’re married you can’t even change the TV Channel. - Anonymous



Funny sarcastic inspirational quotes about life and people

7. It’s amazing how you can have to worst day ever, but still laugh at yourself when you push a door that says pull. - Anonymous



Funny sarcastic inspirational quotes about life and people

8. The road to success is always under construction. - Lily Tomlin



Funny sarcastic inspirational quotes about life and people

9. What do people do with all the extra time they save by writing ‘k’ instead of ‘ok’? - Anonymous



Funny sarcastic inspirational quotes about life and people

10. If you’re going to tell people the truth, be funny or they’ll kill you. - Billy Wilder



Funny sarcastic inspirational quotes about life and people

11. Half the world is composed of idiots, the other half of people clever enough to take indecent advantage of them. - Walter Kerr



Funny sarcastic inspirational quotes about life and people

12. I’m not saying I hate you, what I’m saying is that you are literally the Monday of my life. - Anonymous



Funny sarcastic inspirational quotes about life and people

13. There’s no better vacation than my boss being on vacation. - Anonymous



Funny sarcastic inspirational quotes about life and people

14. You’ve got to be very careful if you don’t know where you are going, because you might not get there. - Yogi Berra



Funny sarcastic inspirational quotes about life and people

15. A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on. - Winston Churchill



Funny sarcastic inspirational quotes about life and people

16. A pessimist is a man who thinks everybody is as nasty as himself, and hates them for it. - George Bernard Shaw



Funny sarcastic inspirational quotes about life and people

17. Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing. - William James



Funny sarcastic inspirational quotes about life and people

18. When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car. - Will Rogers



Funny sarcastic inspirational quotes about life and people

19. I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn’t a professional, the knife had butter on it. - Rodney Dangerfield



Funny sarcastic inspirational quotes about life and people

20. That’s why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it. - George Carlin



Funny sarcastic inspirational quotes about life and people

21. Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save. - Will Rogers



Funny sarcastic inspirational quotes about life and people

22. I don’t always tolerate stupid people. But when I do, I’m probably at work. - Anonymous



Funny sarcastic inspirational quotes about life and people

23. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile. - Billy Sunday



Funny sarcastic inspirational quotes about life and people

24. My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn’t pay the bill he gave me six months more. - Walter Matthau



Funny sarcastic inspirational quotes about life and people

25. Everything is changing. People are taking the comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke. - Will Rogers



Funny sarcastic inspirational quotes about life and people

26. If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it. - W. C. Fields



Funny sarcastic inspirational quotes about life and people

27. Don’t mistake my efficiency as meaning I want to do your job, too. - Anonymous



Funny sarcastic inspirational quotes about life and people

28. Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth. - Anonymous



Funny sarcastic inspirational quotes about life and people

29. When people ask me stupid questions, it is my legal obligation to give a sarcastic remark. - Anonymous



Funny sarcastic inspirational quotes about life and people

30. If you find me offensive. Then I suggest you quit finding me. - Anonymous



Funny sarcastic inspirational quotes about life and people

31. I’m sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I really thought you already knew. - Anonymous



Funny sarcastic inspirational quotes about life and people

32. When I hear somebody sigh, ‘Life is hard,’ I am always tempted to ask, ‘Compared to what?’ - Sydney J. Harris



Funny sarcastic inspirational quotes about life and people

33. Don’t judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect. - Anonymous



Funny sarcastic inspirational quotes about life and people

34. If I had nine of my fingers missing I wouldn’t type any slower. - Mitch Hedberg



Funny sarcastic inspirational quotes about life and people

35. I have always wanted to be somebody, but I see now I should have been more specific. - Lily Tomlin



Funny sarcastic inspirational quotes about life and people

36. Unless your name is Google stop acting like you know everything. - Anonymous



Funny sarcastic inspirational quotes about life and people

37. When one door closes, another opens. Or you can open the closed door. That’s how doors work. - Anonymous



Funny sarcastic inspirational quotes about life and people

38. Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence. - Ashleigh Brilliant



Funny sarcastic inspirational quotes about life and people

39. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. - Steven Wright



Funny sarcastic inspirational quotes about life and people

40. They say marriages are made in heaven. But so is thunder and lightning. - Clint Eastwood



Funny sarcastic inspirational quotes about life and people

41. Crocodiles are easy. They try to kill and eat you. People are harder. Sometimes they pretend to be your friend first. - Steve Irwin



Funny sarcastic inspirational quotes about life and people

42. I remixed a remix, it was back to normal. - Mitch Hedberg



Funny sarcastic inspirational quotes about life and people

43. An apple a day keeps anything away if you throw it hard enough. - Anonymous



Funny sarcastic inspirational quotes about life and people

44. Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake. - W. C. Fields



Funny sarcastic inspirational quotes about life and people

45. Folks, I don’t trust children. They’re here to replace us. - Stephen Colbert



Funny sarcastic inspirational quotes about life and people

46. I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying. - Oscar Wilde



Funny sarcastic inspirational quotes about life and people

47. It takes considerable knowledge just to realize the extent of your own ignorance. - Thomas Sowell



Funny sarcastic inspirational quotes about life and people

48. Everyone has the right to be stupid, but you are abusing the privilege. - Anonymous



Funny sarcastic inspirational quotes about life and people

49. There’s no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn’t tell you about it? -​ Kin Hubbard



Funny sarcastic inspirational quotes about life and people

50. Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off. - Bill Murray



Funny sarcastic inspirational quotes about life and people

51. Life is hard. After all, it kills you. - Katharine Hepburn



Funny sarcastic inspirational quotes about life and people

52. People say that laughter is the best medicine… your face must be curing the world. - Anonymous



Funny sarcastic inspirational quotes about life and people

53. You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life. - Winston Churchill



Funny sarcastic inspirational quotes about life and people

54. The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice cream. - Bill Murray



Funny sarcastic inspirational quotes about life and people

55. Tell me, is being stupid a profession, or are you just gifted? - Anonymous



Funny sarcastic inspirational quotes about life and people

56. I may look calm, but inside my mind, I’ve killed you 20 times, in 5 minutes, in 20 different ways. - Anonymous



Funny sarcastic inspirational quotes about life and people

57. When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them. - Rodney Dangerfield



Funny sarcastic inspirational quotes about life and people

58. If you’re going to do something tonight that you’ll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late. - Henny Youngman



Funny sarcastic inspirational quotes about life and people

59. A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s because she changes it more often. - Oliver Herford



Funny sarcastic inspirational quotes about life and people

60. If a book about failures doesn’t sell, is it a success? - Jerry Seinfeld



Funny sarcastic inspirational quotes about life and people

61. Marriage is like mushrooms: we notice too late if they are good or bad. - Woody Allen



Funny sarcastic inspirational quotes about life and people

62. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research. - Steven Wright



Funny sarcastic inspirational quotes about life and people

63. The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets. - Al McGuire



Funny sarcastic inspirational quotes about life and people

64. Why is there so much month left at the end of the money? - John Barrymore



Funny sarcastic inspirational quotes about life and people

65. If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn’t sit for a month. - Theodore Roosevelt



Funny sarcastic inspirational quotes about life and people

66. It’s okay if you don’t like me. Not everyone has good taste. - Anonymous



Funny sarcastic inspirational quotes about life and people

67. If you must make a noise, make it quietly. - Oliver Hardy



Funny sarcastic inspirational quotes about life and people

68. A woman is like a teabag – you can’t tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water. - Eleanor Roosevelt



Funny sarcastic inspirational quotes about life and people

69. I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying. - Woody Allen



Funny sarcastic inspirational quotes about life and people

70. A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths. - Steven Wright

70 Funny sarcastic inspirational quotes about life and people 70 Funny sarcastic inspirational quotes about life and people Reviewed by Bliss Quote on August 17, 2019 Rating: 5
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