39 Funny graduation quotes and famous graduation sayings

39 Funny graduation quotes and famous graduation sayings

39 Funny graduation quotes and famous graduation sayings. Here are the best quotes on graduation, empowering graduation quotes, graduation messages that will make you smile, life after you graduate quotes and short inspirational quotes that you can share with your friends, family, and loved ones.


Funny graduation quotes and famous graduation sayings

1. Every year, many, many stupid people graduate from college. And if they can do it, so can you. - John Green



Funny graduation quotes and famous graduation sayings

2. To those of you who received honours, awards and distinctions, I say well done. And to the C students, I say you, too, can be president of the United States. - George W. Bush


Funny graduation quotes and famous graduation sayings

3. If at first you don't succeed, try to hide your astonishment. - Harry Banks


Funny graduation quotes and famous graduation sayings

4. Your families are extremely proud of you. You can't imagine the sense of relief they are experiencing. This would be a most opportune time to ask for money. - Gary Bolding


Funny graduation quotes and famous graduation sayings

5. Graduation day is tough for adults. They go to the ceremony as parents. They come home as contemporaries. After twenty-two years of child-raising, they are unemployed. - Erma Bombeck


Funny graduation quotes and famous graduation sayings

6. The unfortunate, yet truly exciting thing about your life, is that there is no core curriculum. The entire place is an elective. - John Stewart


Funny graduation quotes and famous graduation sayings

7. The man who graduates today and stops learning tomorrow is uneducated the day after. - Newton D. Baker


Funny graduation quotes and famous graduation sayings

8. The trouble with learning from experience is that you never graduate. - Doug Larson


Funny graduation quotes and famous graduation sayings

9. At graduation you get to wear a cap and gown, but it’s a good idea to also wear something underneath it. - Greg Tamblyn


Funny graduation quotes and famous graduation sayings

10. Everyone has a right to a university degree in America, even if it's in Hamburger Technology. - Clive James

11. There is a good reason they call these ceremonies 'commencement exercises'. Graduation is not the end; it's the beginning. - Orrin Hatch

12. Parents: You will spend more money framing your child's diploma than they will earn in the next six months. It's tough out there, so be patient. The only people hiring right now are Panera and Mexican drug cartels. - Conan O’Brien

13. If you feel that you have both feet planted on level ground, then the university has failed you. - Robert Goheen

14. The college graduate is presented with a sheepskin to cover his intellectual nakedness. - Robert M. Hutchins

15. All that stands between the graduate and the top of the ladder is the ladder. - Unknown

16. Alphabet: a symbolic system used in algebra, with applications that have yet to be discovered by dyslexics and two thirds of college graduates. - Bauvard

17. If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in bed with a mosquito. - Bette Reese

18. A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that "individuality" is the key to success. - Robert Orben

19. If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn't lead anywhere. - Frank A. Clark


Funny graduation quotes and famous graduation sayings

20. Graduation: a ritual event where they award you a diploma, in the hope that you have learned enough to be able to read it. - Unknown

21. It doesn't matter that your dream came true if you spent your whole life sleeping. - Jerry Zucker

22. Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated. - Erma Bombeck

23. Commencement speeches were invented largely in the belief that outgoing college students should never be released into the world until they have been properly sedated. - Garry Trudeau

24. Life is my college. May I graduate well, and earn some honors! - Louisa May Alcott

25. You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You’re on your own. And you know what you know. You are the guy who’ll decide where to go. - Dr. Seuss

26. Of course there's a lot of knowledge in universities: the freshmen bring a little in; the seniors don't take much away, so knowledge sort of accumulates. - Dr. A. Lawrence Lowell

27. When they hand you your diploma, keep moving. Just in case they try to take it back. - Unknown

28. You are graduating from college. That means that this is the first day of the last day of your life. No, that's wrong. This is the last day of the first day of school. Nope, that's worse. This is a day. - Andy Samberg

29. A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car. But if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt


Funny graduation quotes and famous graduation sayings

30. Now that you've graduated, just remember: Bosses don’t usually accept notes from your mother. - Melanie White

31. Fifty percent of all doctors graduate in the bottom half of their class - Hope your surgery went well! - Simone Elkeles

32. Remember, when it come to applying for jobs, books are judged by their cover! - Patricia Akins

33. The best advice I can give anybody about going out into the world is this: Don't do it. I have been out there. It is a mess. - Russell Baker

34. Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing worth knowing can be taught. - Oscar Wilde

35. It is indeed ironic that we spend our school days yearning to graduate and our remaining days waxing nostalgic about our school days. - Isabel Waxman

36. In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson. - Tom Bodett

37. When I was here there was still a requirement that students had to swim 50 yards to graduate…because Harry Elkins Widener had drowned with the sinking of the Titanic. And it made me very grateful at the time that he had not gone down in a plane crash. - Barney Frank

38. I’ve never studied anything formally. I was excluded from school at the age of 17, so I am an autodidact, which is a word that I have taught myself. - Alan Moore


Funny graduation quotes and famous graduation sayings

39. So, what's it like in the real world? Well, the food is better, but beyond that, I don't recommend it. - Bill Patterson

39 Funny graduation quotes and famous graduation sayings 39 Funny graduation quotes and famous graduation sayings Reviewed by Kerr S. on August 16, 2019 Rating: 5
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