60 Sarcastic quotes about life that will make you smile. Here are the best sarcastic quotes that you can enjoy reading, which will teach you a lesson as well. May these sarcastic quotes enlighten you and make you smile with its funny, humorous thoughts about life. Share these sarcasm quotes and sayings with your friends, family, and loved ones.
1. I appreciate thieves who do their research, but at least you recognize worth when you see it. - M.L. LeGette
2. If you wrote down every single thought you ever had you would get an award for the shortest story ever. - Anonymous
3. I’ll try being nicer, if you try being smarter. - Anonymous
4. Thank you for leaving my side when I was alone. I realized I can do so much without you. - Anonymous
5. Sarcasm is the secret language that everyone uses when they want to say something mean to your face. - Anonymous
6. If I promise to miss you, will you go away? - Anonymous
7. I’m smiling... that alone should scare you. - Anonymous
8. This is what happened in love. One of you cried a lot and then both of you grew sarcastic. - Lorrie Moore
9. You sound better with your mouth closed. - Anonymous
10. If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on this planet. - Anonymous
11. Ask me no questions, and I'll tell you no fibs. - Oliver Goldsmith
12. My friends are so much cooler than yours. They’re invisible. - Anonymous
13. If it looks like I give a damn, please tell me. I don’t want to give off the wrong impression. - Anonymous
14. Mirrors can’t talk, lucky for you they can’t laugh either. - Anonymous
15. I’d agree with you but then we’d both be wrong. - Anonymous
16. Think I am sarcastic? Watch me pretend to care! - Anonymous
17. The more this guy talked, the more he sounded like a fortune cookie. - Kelly Creagh
18. I don’t believe in plastic surgery. But in your case, go ahead. - Anonymous
19. I’d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and don’t want to see your ugly mug every day. - Anonymous
20. I cannot speak well enough to be unintelligible. - Jane Austen
21. Tell me how I have upset you, because I want to know how to do it again. - Anonymous
22. I’m not crazy! The voices tell me I am entirely sane. - Anonymous
23. If you say ‘we’re in this together,’ I’m going to hurl. - Kelley Armstrong
24. People say that laughter is the best medicine... your face must be curing the world! - Anonymous
25. You always do me a favor, when you shut up! - Anonymous
26. Egotist, n. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me. - Ambrose Bierce
27. If karma doesn’t hit you, I gladly will. - Anonymous
28. Keep rolling your eyes. Maybe you’ll find a brain back there. - Anonymous
29. I’m sorry while you were talking I was trying to figure where the hell you got the idea I cared. - Anonymous
30. Are you always this retarded or are you making a special effort today? - Anonymous
31. You’d be in good shape... if you ran as much as your mouth. - Anonymous
32. If you’ve never met the devil in the road of life, its because you’re both heading in the same direction. - Anonymous
33. Ugliness can be fixed, stupidity is forever. - Anonymous
34. Zombies eat brains. You’re safe. - Anonymous
35. Let me ask you a question. What do you think is the greatest evil on this planet today? Is that including, or not including you? - Anthony Horowitz
36. Me pretending to listen should be enough for you. - Anonymous
37. You look good when your eyes are closed, but you look the best when my eyes closed. - Anonymous
38. I thought I had seen the pinnacle of stupid... Then I met you. - Anonymous
39. You did not just say that. I have a feeling we're on the verge of hugging and coming up with cute nicknames for each other. - Richelle Mead
40. Well, my imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems. - Anonymous
41. Cancel my subscription because I don’t need your issues. - Anonymous
42. I don't know about your true form, but the weight of your ego sure is pushing the crust of the earth toward the breaking point. - Jim Butcher
43. Just keep talking, I'll yawn when I’m interested. - Anonymous
44. When people ask me stupid questions, it is my legal obligation to give a sarcastic remark. - Anonymous
45. Thinking I'm a moron gives people something to feel smug about, Why should I disillusion them? - Madeleine L'Engle
46. You have no one to blame but yourself... Unless some other guy is standing next to you then you can blame him. - Anonymous
47. No, you don’t have to repeat yourself. I was ignoring you the first time. - Anonymous
48. See this hand? It’s going to descend in an arc that will, in the process, have contact with your face. Just warning you. - Anonymous
49. That is the ugliest top I’ve ever seen, yet it compliments your face perfectly. - Anonymous
50. Dear Karma, I really hate you right now, you made your point. - Ottilie Weber
51. I became so religious so that I could pray for you to burn in hell. - Anonymous
52. I’m not sarcastic. I’m just intelligent beyond your understanding. - Anonymous
53. One day I'll work out what it is you are saying, my lad, and then you'll be in trouble. - Terry Pratchett
54. If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments. - Anonymous
55. I clapped because it’s finished, not because I like it. - Anonymous
56. Clever is when one is crafty enough to mistake your imagination for intelligence. Smart is when one assumes they are too educated to notice the difference. - Kerry E. Wagner
57. Just because the voices only talk to me doesn’t mean you should get all jealous. You’re just a little too crazy for their taste. - Anonymous
58. Don’t worry about what people think. They don’t do it very often. - Anonymous
59. Don’t argue with fools, because people from a distance can’t tell which one is you. - Anonymous
60. Fighting with me is like being in the special Olympics. You may win, but in the end you’re still a retard. - Anonymous
1. I appreciate thieves who do their research, but at least you recognize worth when you see it. - M.L. LeGette
2. If you wrote down every single thought you ever had you would get an award for the shortest story ever. - Anonymous
3. I’ll try being nicer, if you try being smarter. - Anonymous
4. Thank you for leaving my side when I was alone. I realized I can do so much without you. - Anonymous
5. Sarcasm is the secret language that everyone uses when they want to say something mean to your face. - Anonymous
6. If I promise to miss you, will you go away? - Anonymous
7. I’m smiling... that alone should scare you. - Anonymous
8. This is what happened in love. One of you cried a lot and then both of you grew sarcastic. - Lorrie Moore
9. You sound better with your mouth closed. - Anonymous
10. If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on this planet. - Anonymous
11. Ask me no questions, and I'll tell you no fibs. - Oliver Goldsmith
12. My friends are so much cooler than yours. They’re invisible. - Anonymous
13. If it looks like I give a damn, please tell me. I don’t want to give off the wrong impression. - Anonymous
14. Mirrors can’t talk, lucky for you they can’t laugh either. - Anonymous
15. I’d agree with you but then we’d both be wrong. - Anonymous
16. Think I am sarcastic? Watch me pretend to care! - Anonymous
17. The more this guy talked, the more he sounded like a fortune cookie. - Kelly Creagh
18. I don’t believe in plastic surgery. But in your case, go ahead. - Anonymous
19. I’d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and don’t want to see your ugly mug every day. - Anonymous
20. I cannot speak well enough to be unintelligible. - Jane Austen
21. Tell me how I have upset you, because I want to know how to do it again. - Anonymous
22. I’m not crazy! The voices tell me I am entirely sane. - Anonymous
23. If you say ‘we’re in this together,’ I’m going to hurl. - Kelley Armstrong
24. People say that laughter is the best medicine... your face must be curing the world! - Anonymous
25. You always do me a favor, when you shut up! - Anonymous
26. Egotist, n. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me. - Ambrose Bierce
27. If karma doesn’t hit you, I gladly will. - Anonymous
28. Keep rolling your eyes. Maybe you’ll find a brain back there. - Anonymous
29. I’m sorry while you were talking I was trying to figure where the hell you got the idea I cared. - Anonymous
30. Are you always this retarded or are you making a special effort today? - Anonymous
31. You’d be in good shape... if you ran as much as your mouth. - Anonymous
32. If you’ve never met the devil in the road of life, its because you’re both heading in the same direction. - Anonymous
33. Ugliness can be fixed, stupidity is forever. - Anonymous
34. Zombies eat brains. You’re safe. - Anonymous
35. Let me ask you a question. What do you think is the greatest evil on this planet today? Is that including, or not including you? - Anthony Horowitz
36. Me pretending to listen should be enough for you. - Anonymous
37. You look good when your eyes are closed, but you look the best when my eyes closed. - Anonymous
38. I thought I had seen the pinnacle of stupid... Then I met you. - Anonymous
39. You did not just say that. I have a feeling we're on the verge of hugging and coming up with cute nicknames for each other. - Richelle Mead
40. Well, my imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems. - Anonymous
41. Cancel my subscription because I don’t need your issues. - Anonymous
42. I don't know about your true form, but the weight of your ego sure is pushing the crust of the earth toward the breaking point. - Jim Butcher
43. Just keep talking, I'll yawn when I’m interested. - Anonymous
44. When people ask me stupid questions, it is my legal obligation to give a sarcastic remark. - Anonymous
45. Thinking I'm a moron gives people something to feel smug about, Why should I disillusion them? - Madeleine L'Engle
46. You have no one to blame but yourself... Unless some other guy is standing next to you then you can blame him. - Anonymous
47. No, you don’t have to repeat yourself. I was ignoring you the first time. - Anonymous
48. See this hand? It’s going to descend in an arc that will, in the process, have contact with your face. Just warning you. - Anonymous
49. That is the ugliest top I’ve ever seen, yet it compliments your face perfectly. - Anonymous
50. Dear Karma, I really hate you right now, you made your point. - Ottilie Weber
51. I became so religious so that I could pray for you to burn in hell. - Anonymous
52. I’m not sarcastic. I’m just intelligent beyond your understanding. - Anonymous
53. One day I'll work out what it is you are saying, my lad, and then you'll be in trouble. - Terry Pratchett
54. If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments. - Anonymous
55. I clapped because it’s finished, not because I like it. - Anonymous
56. Clever is when one is crafty enough to mistake your imagination for intelligence. Smart is when one assumes they are too educated to notice the difference. - Kerry E. Wagner
57. Just because the voices only talk to me doesn’t mean you should get all jealous. You’re just a little too crazy for their taste. - Anonymous
58. Don’t worry about what people think. They don’t do it very often. - Anonymous
59. Don’t argue with fools, because people from a distance can’t tell which one is you. - Anonymous
60. Fighting with me is like being in the special Olympics. You may win, but in the end you’re still a retard. - Anonymous