60 Sarcastic quotes and funny sarcasm sayings

60 Sarcastic quotes and funny sarcasm sayings

60 Sarcastic quotes and funny sarcasm sayings. Here are the best sarcasm quotes, funny and humorous sarcastic sayings that you can share with your friends, family, and loved ones.


Sarcastic quotes and funny sarcasm sayings

1. If you wrote down every single thought you ever had you would get an award for the shortest story ever.



Sarcastic quotes and funny sarcasm sayings

2. I appreciate thieves who do their research, but at least you recognize worth when you see it. - M.L. LeGette


Sarcastic quotes and funny sarcasm sayings

3. I’ll try being nicer, if you try being smarter.


Sarcastic quotes and funny sarcasm sayings

4. Thank you for leaving my side when I was alone. I realized I can do so much without you.


Sarcastic quotes and funny sarcasm sayings

5. I'm sorry. I use my rapier wit to hide my inner pain. - Cassandra Clare



Sarcastic quotes and funny sarcasm sayings

6. If I promise to miss you, will you go away?


Sarcastic quotes and funny sarcasm sayings

7. I’m smiling... that alone should scare you.


Sarcastic quotes and funny sarcasm sayings

8. This is what happened in love. One of you cried a lot and then both of you grew sarcastic. - Lorrie Moore


Sarcastic quotes and funny sarcasm sayings

9. You sound better with your mouth closed.


Sarcastic quotes and funny sarcasm sayings

10. If ignorance is bliss. You must be the happiest person on this planet.

11. Ask me no questions, and I'll tell you no fibs. - Oliver Goldsmith

12. My friends are so much cooler than yours. They’re invisible.

13. If it looks like I give a damn, please tell me. I don’t want to give off the wrong impression.

14. While the Clave disapproves of trespassers, oddly they take an even darker view of beheading and skinning people. They're peculiar that way. - Cassandra Clare

15. I’d agree with you but then we’d both be wrong.

16. Think I am sarcastic? Watch me pretend to care!

17. The more this guy talked, the more he sounded like a fortune cookie. - Kelly Creagh

18. Sure I’ll help you out... the same way you came in.

19. Shut your mouth when you’re talking to me.


Sarcastic quotes and funny sarcasm sayings

20. I cannot speak well enough to be unintelligible. - Jane Austen

21. Tell me how I have upset you, because I want to know how to do it again.

22. I’m not crazy! The voices tell me I am entirely sane.

23. If you say ‘we’re in this together,’ I’m going to hurl. - Kelley Armstrong

24. Tact is for people who aren’t witty enough to use sarcasm.

25. You always do me a favor, when you shut up!

26. Egotist, n. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me. - Ambrose Bierce

27. If karma doesn’t hit you, I gladly will.

28. Keep rolling your eyes. Maybe you’ll find a brain back there.

29. I’m sorry while you were talking I was trying to figure where the hell you got the idea I cared.


Sarcastic quotes and funny sarcasm sayings

30. Are you always this retarded or are you making a special effort today?

31. You’d be in good shape... if you ran as much as your mouth.

32. What is your advice to young writers? Drink, fuck and smoke plenty of cigarettes. - Charles Bukowski

33. Ugliness can be fixed, stupidity is forever.

34. Zombies eat brains. You’re safe.

35. Let me ask you a question. What do you think is the greatest evil on this planet today? Is that including, or not including you? ? Anthony Horowitz

36. Me pretending to listen should be enough for you.

37. If you’re waiting for me to give a shit, you better pack a lunch. It’s going to be while.

38. I am in full possession of the amazing power of being sarcastic. - Sarah Rees Brennan

39. You did not just say that. I have a feeling we're on the verge of hugging and coming up with cute nicknames for each other. - Richelle Mead


Sarcastic quotes and funny sarcasm sayings

40. Well, my imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems.

41. Cancel my subscription because I don’t need your issues.

42. I don't know about your true form, but the weight of your ego sure is pushing the crust of the earth toward the breaking point. - Jim Butcher

43. Just keep talking, I yawn when I’m interested.

44. Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit! Yet it remains the funniest!

45. Thinking I'm a moron gives people something to feel smug about, Why should I disillusion them? - Madeleine L'Engle

46. Life’s good, you should get one.

47. No, you don’t have to repeat yourself. I was ignoring you the first time.

48. Sarcasm will make your tits fall off. - Christopher Moore

49. That is the ugliest top I’ve ever seen, yet it compliments your face perfectly.


Sarcastic quotes and funny sarcasm sayings

50. Dear Karma, I really hate you right now, you made your point. - Ottilie Weber

51. I’m not listening, but keep talking. I enjoy the way your voice makes my ears bleed.

52. I’m not sarcastic. I’m just intelligent beyond your understanding.

53. One day I'll work out what it is you are saying, my lad, and then you'll be in trouble. - Terry Pratchett

54. If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

55. I clapped because it’s finished, not because I like it.

56. Clever is when one is crafty enough to mistake your imagination for intelligence. Smart is when one assumes they are too educated to notice the difference. - Kerry E. Wagner

57. Just because the voices only talk to me doesn’t mean you should get all jealous. You’re just a little too crazy for their taste.

58. Don’t worry about what people think. They don’t do it very often.

59. Sarcasm creates a chasm between yourself and others. - Gayle Forman


Sarcastic quotes and funny sarcasm sayings

60. Fighting with me is like being in the special Olympics. You may win, but in the end you’re still a retard.

60 Sarcastic quotes and funny sarcasm sayings 60 Sarcastic quotes and funny sarcasm sayings Reviewed by Kerr S. on May 31, 2019 Rating: 5
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