37 Funny quotes about life that will make you smile

37 Funny quotes about life that will make you smile. Share it with your friends and family and make them smile and laugh. These funny quotes are humorous and at the same time inspirational. Learn from these famous people that having a good sense of humor has significance in our life.

1. I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people. - Rodney Dangerfield

2. Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking. - Dave Barry

3. Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason. - José Maria de Eça de Queiroz

4. Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go. - Oscar Wilde

5. When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. - Mark Twain

6. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong. - Unknown

7. My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing. - Emo Philips

8. I don't hate you.. I just don't like that you exist. - Gena Showalter

9. Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot. - Groucho Marx

10. A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan

11. I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her. - Rodney Dangerfield

12. The secret to staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. - Lucille Ball

13. I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder. - Steven Wright

14. Don't be so humble - you are not that great. - Golda Meir

15. I do not know the American gentleman, God forgive me for putting two such words together. - Charles Dickens

16. What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife. - Rodney Dangerfield

17. A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, "At my age, I don't even buy green bananas." - Claude Pepper

18. When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity. - Albert Einstein

19. A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours. - Milton Berle

20. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. - Lana Turner

21. Do not worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older it will avoid you. - Joey Adams

22. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety- seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is. - Ellen DeGeneres

23. Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings. - Robert Benchley

24. I can tell if two people are in love by how they hold each other’s hands, and how thick their sanitation gloves are. - Jarod Kintz

25. You know, sometimes kids get bad grades in school because the class moves too slow for them. Einstein got D's in school. Well guess what, I get F's!!! - Bill Watterson

26. Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories. - John Wilmot

27. When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty. - Norm Crosby

28. If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions? - Scott Adams

29. If the lessons of history teach us anything it is that nobody learns the lessons that history teaches us. - Anon

30. When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President. Now I’m beginning to believe it. - Clarence Darrow

31. Laughing at our mistakes can lengthen our own life. Laughing at someone else’s can shorten it. - Cullen Hightower

32. All men are frauds. The only difference between them is that some admit it. I myself deny it. - H. L. Mencken

33. It's not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on. - Marilyn Monroe

34. A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul. - George Bernard Shaw

35. Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before. - Mae West

36. Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid. - Hedy Lamarr

37. Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company. - Mark Twain