37 Funny quotes about life that will make you smile

37 Funny quotes about life that will make you smile




37 Funny quotes about life that will make you smile. Here are the best funny quotes and sayings to read from the famous authors that will inspire you. May these humorous funny quotes enlighten you that having a good sense of humor has significance in our lives to be more meaningful. Share these inspirational short funny quotes with your friends, family, and loved ones that will make them smile and laugh as well.


Funny quotes about life that will make you smile

1. I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people. - Rodney Dangerfield



Funny quotes about life that will make you smile

2. Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking. - Dave Barry



Funny quotes about life that will make you smile

3. Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason. - José Maria de Eça de Queiroz



Funny quotes about life that will make you smile

4. Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go. - Oscar Wilde



Funny quotes about life that will make you smile

5. When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. - Mark Twain



Funny quotes about life that will make you smile

6. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong. - Unknown



Funny quotes about life that will make you smile

7. My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing. - Emo Philips



Funny quotes about life that will make you smile

8. I don't hate you.. I just don't like that you exist. - Gena Showalter



Funny quotes about life that will make you smile

9. Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot. - Groucho Marx



Funny quotes about life that will make you smile

10. A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan



Funny quotes about life that will make you smile

11. I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her. - Rodney Dangerfield



Funny quotes about life that will make you smile

12. The secret to staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. - Lucille Ball



Funny quotes about life that will make you smile

13. I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder. - Steven Wright



Funny quotes about life that will make you smile

14. Don't be so humble - you are not that great. - Golda Meir



Funny quotes about life that will make you smile

15. I do not know the American gentleman, God forgive me for putting two such words together. - Charles Dickens



Funny quotes about life that will make you smile

16. What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife. - Rodney Dangerfield



Funny quotes about life that will make you smile

17. A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, "At my age, I don't even buy green bananas." - Claude Pepper



Funny quotes about life that will make you smile

18. When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity. - Albert Einstein



Funny quotes about life that will make you smile

19. A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours. - Milton Berle



Funny quotes about life that will make you smile

20. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. - Lana Turner



Funny quotes about life that will make you smile

21. Do not worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older it will avoid you. - Joey Adams



Funny quotes about life that will make you smile

22. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety- seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is. - Ellen DeGeneres



Funny quotes about life that will make you smile

23. Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings. - Robert Benchley



Funny quotes about life that will make you smile

24. I can tell if two people are in love by how they hold each other’s hands, and how thick their sanitation gloves are. - Jarod Kintz



Funny quotes about life that will make you smile

25. You know, sometimes kids get bad grades in school because the class moves too slow for them. Einstein got D's in school. Well guess what, I get F's!!! - Bill Watterson



Funny quotes about life that will make you smile

26. Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories. - John Wilmot



Funny quotes about life that will make you smile

27. When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty. - Norm Crosby



Funny quotes about life that will make you smile

28. If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions? - Scott Adams



Funny quotes about life that will make you smile

29. If the lessons of history teach us anything it is that nobody learns the lessons that history teaches us. - Anonymous



Funny quotes about life that will make you smile

30. When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President. Now I’m beginning to believe it. - Clarence Darrow



Funny quotes about life that will make you smile

31. Laughing at our mistakes can lengthen our own life. Laughing at someone else’s can shorten it. - Cullen Hightower



Funny quotes about life that will make you smile

32. All men are frauds. The only difference between them is that some admit it. I myself deny it. - H. L. Mencken



Funny quotes about life that will make you smile

33. It's not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on. - Marilyn Monroe



Funny quotes about life that will make you smile

34. A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul. - George Bernard Shaw



Funny quotes about life that will make you smile

35. Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before. - Mae West



Funny quotes about life that will make you smile

36. Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid. - Hedy Lamarr



Funny quotes about life that will make you smile

37. Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company. - Mark Twain

37 Funny quotes about life that will make you smile 37 Funny quotes about life that will make you smile Reviewed by Kerr S. on November 10, 2018 Rating: 5

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