26 Funny Christmas quotes that will make you smile

26 Funny Christmas quotes that will make you smile




26 Funny Christmas quotes that will make you smile. Here are the best Christmas quotes and sayings that you can read to inspire you and at the same time to give you thoughts of happiness. They say Christmas is the time to be Merry, and we will make yours the most cheerful and lively Christmas ever with our funny Christmas quotes. Enjoy our collection of humorous Christmas quotes with images. Spread the joy, love, and happiness this Christmas holiday season together with your family, friends, loved ones, and send them your Christmas wishes.


Funny Christmas quotes that will make you smile

1. I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. - Shirley Temple



Funny Christmas quotes that will make you smile

2. I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying: 'Toys not included.' - Bernard Manning



Funny Christmas quotes that will make you smile

3. I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up – they have no holidays. - Henry Youngman



Funny Christmas quotes that will make you smile


4. Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit. - Frank McKinney Kin Hubbard



Funny Christmas quotes that will make you smile

5. A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor



Funny Christmas quotes that will make you smile

6. No self-respecting mother would run out of intimidations on the eve of a major holiday. - Emma Bombeck



Funny Christmas quotes that will make you smile

7. The one thing women don't want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband. - Joan Rivers



Funny Christmas quotes that will make you smile

8. Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present. - Unknown



Funny Christmas quotes that will make you smile

9. Oh look, yet another Christmas TV special! How touching to have the meaning of Christmas brought to us by cola, fast food, and beer. Who'd have ever guessed that product consumption, popular entertainment, and spirituality would mix so harmoniously? - Bill Watterson



Funny Christmas quotes that will make you smile

10. The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other. - Johnny Carson



Funny Christmas quotes that will make you smile

11. Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered. - Phyllis Diller



Funny Christmas quotes that will make you smile

12. Santa is very jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live. - Dennis Miller



Funny Christmas quotes that will make you smile

13. Christmas is a time when people of all religions come together to worship Jesus Christ. - Bart Simpson



Funny Christmas quotes that will make you smile

14. Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit. - Unknown



Funny Christmas quotes that will make you smile

15. I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark. - Dick Gregory



Funny Christmas quotes that will make you smile

16. What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a new job the next day. - Phyllis Diller



Funny Christmas quotes that will make you smile

17. Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people once a year. - Victor Borge


Funny Christmas quotes that will make you smile

18. Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas. -Johnny Carson


Funny Christmas quotes that will make you smile

19. Were it not for the shepherds, there would have been no reception. And were it not for a group of stargazers, there would have been no gifts. - Max Lucado


Funny Christmas quotes that will make you smile

20. You know you're getting old, when Santa starts looking younger. - Robert Paul



Funny Christmas quotes that will make you smile

21. Let me see if I've got this Santa business straight. You say he wears a beard, has no discernible source of income and flies to cities all over the world under cover of darkness? You sure this guy isn't laundering illegal drug money? - Tom Armstrong


Funny Christmas quotes that will make you smile

22. Santa Claus wears a Red Suit, He must be a communist. And a beard and long hair, must be a pacifist. What's in that pipe that he's smoking? - Arlo Guthrie


Funny Christmas quotes that will make you smile

23. Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven. -W. C. Fields


Funny Christmas quotes that will make you smile

24. Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall. - Larry Wilde


Funny Christmas quotes that will make you smile

25. Christmas is a time when kids tell Santa what they want and adults pay for it. Deficits are when adults tell the government what they want and their kids pay for it. - Richard Lamm


Funny Christmas quotes that will make you smile

26. Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered. - Phyllis Diller

26 Funny Christmas quotes that will make you smile 26 Funny Christmas quotes that will make you smile Reviewed by Kerr S. on October 13, 2018 Rating: 5

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