44 Famous funny quotes and humorous sayings about life

44 Famous funny quotes and humorous sayings about life




44 Famous funny quotes and humorous sayings about life. Here are the best funny quotes from the great authors that will inspire you and make you smile as well. Being funny while giving inspiration is the goal of these humorous quotes that you will enjoy reading. May these famous funny quotes with images bring out the more cheerful and brighter you. Share these inspirational short funny quotes with your friends, family, and loved ones.


Famous funny quotes and humorous sayings about life

1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. - George Carlin



Famous funny quotes and humorous sayings about life

2. Imagination was given to us to compensate for what we are not; a sense of humor was given to us to console us for what we are. - Mark McGinnis



Famous funny quotes and humorous sayings about life

3. God put me on this earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind that I will never die. - Humorist Bill Watterson



Famous funny quotes and humorous sayings about life

4. Bishop Fulton Sheen is one of several people who have been credited with saying, An atheist is a man with no invisible means of support. - Unknown



Famous funny quotes and humorous sayings about life

5. I have long been of the opinion that if work were such a splendid thing the rich would have kept more of it for themselves. - Bruce Grocott



Famous funny quotes and humorous sayings about life

6. A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. Unfortunately, they don't have a J.O.B. - Fats Domino



Famous funny quotes and humorous sayings about life

7. Experts agree that the best type of computer for your individual needs is one that comes on the market about two days after you actually purchase some other computer. - Dave Barry



Famous funny quotes and humorous sayings about life

8. Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife. - Groucho Marx



Famous funny quotes and humorous sayings about life

9. Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket or a holding pattern over Philadelphia. - Judith Viorst



Famous funny quotes and humorous sayings about life

10. Status quo is Latin for 'the mess we're in.' - A Texas farmer.



Famous funny quotes and humorous sayings about life

11. I think that I shall never see a billboard lovely as a tree. Perhaps, unless the billboards fall, I'll never see a tree at all. - Ogden Nash



Famous funny quotes and humorous sayings about life

12. The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it. - Franklin P. Jones



Famous funny quotes and humorous sayings about life

13. From now on, ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which I will not put. - Sir Winston Churchill



Famous funny quotes and humorous sayings about life

14. Reality is the leading cause of stress for those in touch with it. - Lily Tomlin



Famous funny quotes and humorous sayings about life

15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back in your pocket. - Will Rogers



Famous funny quotes and humorous sayings about life

16. Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men. The other 999 follow women. - Groucho Marx



Famous funny quotes and humorous sayings about life

17. I'd rather be a could-be if I cannot be an are; because a could-be is a maybe who is reaching for a star. I'd rather be a has-been than a might-have-been, by far; for a might have-been has never been, but a has was once an are. - Milton Berle



Famous funny quotes and humorous sayings about life

18. Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I know that's not true. Some of the smaller countries are neutral. - Robert Orben



Famous funny quotes and humorous sayings about life

19. If the English language made any sense, a catastrophe would be an apostrophe with fur. - Doug Larson



Famous funny quotes and humorous sayings about life

20. Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon. - Doug Larson



Famous funny quotes and humorous sayings about life

21. Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly. - G.K. Chesterton



Famous funny quotes and humorous sayings about life

22. Status quo, you know, is Latin for 'the mess we're in'. - Ronald Reagan



Famous funny quotes and humorous sayings about life

23. Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Mark Twain



Famous funny quotes and humorous sayings about life

24. When your outgo exceeds your income, the upshot may be your downfall. - Paul Harvey



Famous funny quotes and humorous sayings about life

25. Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday. - Don Marquis



Famous funny quotes and humorous sayings about life

26. I always wanted to be somebody. I should have been more specific. - Lily Tomlin



Famous funny quotes and humorous sayings about life

27. All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific. - Jane Wagner



Famous funny quotes and humorous sayings about life

28. I have noticed even people who claim everything is predestined, and that we can do nothing to change it, look before they cross the road. - Steven Hawking



Famous funny quotes and humorous sayings about life

29. Part of the good part of being a parent is a constant sense of deja vu. But some of what you have to vu you never want to vu again. - Anna Quindlen



Famous funny quotes and humorous sayings about life

30. If the new father feels bewildered and even defeated, let him take comfort from the fact that whatever he does in any fathering situation has a fifty percent chance of being right. - Bill Cosby



Famous funny quotes and humorous sayings about life

31. Parents are not interested in justice, they're interested in peace and quiet. - Bill Cosby



Famous funny quotes and humorous sayings about life

32. Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves. - Albert Einstein



Famous funny quotes and humorous sayings about life

33. I know God promises not to give me more than I can handle. I just wish he didn't trust me so much. - Mother Teresa



Famous funny quotes and humorous sayings about life

34. If I'd known I was going to live this long, I would have taken better care of myself! - Eubie Blake



Famous funny quotes and humorous sayings about life

35. A well-developed sense of humor is the pole that adds balance to your steps as you walk the tightrope of life. - William A. Ward



Famous funny quotes and humorous sayings about life

36. A good laugh is sunshine in a house. - William Makepeace Thackery



Famous funny quotes and humorous sayings about life

37. I live by this credo: Have a little laugh at life and look around you for happiness instead of sadness. Laughter has always brought me out of unhappy situations. Even in your darkest moment, you usually can find something to laugh about if you try hard enough. - Red Skelton



Famous funny quotes and humorous sayings about life

38. Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward. - Kurt Vonnegut



Famous funny quotes and humorous sayings about life

39. Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face. - Victor Hugo



Famous funny quotes and humorous sayings about life

40. A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done. - Dwight D. Eisenhower



Famous funny quotes and humorous sayings about life

41. Humor is tragedy plus time. - Mark Twain



Famous funny quotes and humorous sayings about life

42. Laugh at yourself and at life. Not in the spirit of derision or whining self-pity, but as a remedy, a miracle drug, that will ease your pain, cure your depression, and help you to put in perspective that seemingly terrible defeat and worry with laughter at your predicaments, thus freeing your mind to think clearly toward the solution that is certain to come. - Og Mandino



Famous funny quotes and humorous sayings about life

43. Laughter is to life what shock absorbers are to automobiles: It won't take the potholes out of the road, but it sure makes the ride smoother. - Barbara Johnson



Famous funny quotes and humorous sayings about life

44. If you can't make it better, you can laugh at it. - Erma Bombec

44 Famous funny quotes and humorous sayings about life 44 Famous funny quotes and humorous sayings about life Reviewed by Kerr S. on September 10, 2018 Rating: 5

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