61 Funny quotes and sayings about life by famous people

61 Funny quotes and sayings about life by famous people




61 Funny quotes and sayings about life by famous people. Here are the best short funny quotes from the great authors that will inspire you and make you smile as well. You don't have to be serious all the time, that is why we prepared these short funny quotes about life that will surely make you smile. Being funny that will brighten up your day is the goal of these humorous quotes that you will enjoy reading. May these funny inspirational life quotes with images bring out the cheerful and happier version of you. Share these funny quotes about life with your friends, family, and loved ones.


Funny quotes and sayings about life by famous people

1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. - George Carlin



Funny quotes and sayings about life by famous people

2. Imagination was given to us to compensate for what we are not; a sense of humor was given to us to console us for what we are. - Mark McGinnis



Funny quotes and sayings about life by famous people

3. God put me on this earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind that I will never die. - Humorist Bill Watterson



Funny quotes and sayings about life by famous people

4. Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read. - Groucho Marx



Funny quotes and sayings about life by famous people

5. I have long been of the opinion that if work were such a splendid thing the rich would have kept more of it for themselves. - Bruce Grocott



Funny quotes and sayings about life by famous people

6. A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. Unfortunately, they don't have a J.O.B. - Fats Domino



Funny quotes and sayings about life by famous people

7. Experts agree that the best type of computer for your individual needs is one that comes on the market about two days after you actually purchase some other computer. - Dave Barry



Funny quotes and sayings about life by famous people

8. Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife. - Groucho Marx



Funny quotes and sayings about life by famous people

9. Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket or a holding pattern over Philadelphia. - Judith Viorst



Funny quotes and sayings about life by famous people

10. I finally realized that people are prisoners of their phones... that's why it's called a 'CELL' phone. - Anonymous



Funny quotes and sayings about life by famous people

11. I think that I shall never see a billboard lovely as a tree. Perhaps, unless the billboards fall, I'll never see a tree at all. - Ogden Nash



Funny quotes and sayings about life by famous people

12. The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it. - Franklin P. Jones



Funny quotes and sayings about life by famous people

13. From now on, ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which I will not put. - Winston Churchill



Funny quotes and sayings about life by famous people

14. Reality is the leading cause of stress for those in touch with it. - Lily Tomlin



Funny quotes and sayings about life by famous people

15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back in your pocket. - Will Rogers



Funny quotes and sayings about life by famous people

16. Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men. The other 999 follow women. - Groucho Marx



Funny quotes and sayings about life by famous people

17. I'd rather be a could-be if I cannot be an are; because a could-be is a maybe who is reaching for a star. I'd rather be a has-been than a might-have-been, by far; for a might have-been has never been, but a has was once an are. - Milton Berle



Funny quotes and sayings about life by famous people

18. Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I know that's not true. Some of the smaller countries are neutral. - Robert Orben



Funny quotes and sayings about life by famous people

19. If the English language made any sense, a catastrophe would be an apostrophe with fur. - Doug Larson



Funny quotes and sayings about life by famous people

20. Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon. - Doug Larson



Funny quotes and sayings about life by famous people

21. Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly. - G.K. Chesterton



Funny quotes and sayings about life by famous people

22. Status quo, you know, is Latin for 'the mess we're in. - Ronald Reagan



Funny quotes and sayings about life by famous people

23. Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Mark Twain



Funny quotes and sayings about life by famous people

24. When your outgo exceeds your income, the upshot may be your downfall. - Paul Harvey



Funny quotes and sayings about life by famous people

25. Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday. - Don Marquis



Funny quotes and sayings about life by famous people

26. I always wanted to be somebody. I should have been more specific. - Lily Tomlin



Funny quotes and sayings about life by famous people

27. All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific. - Jane Wagner



Funny quotes and sayings about life by famous people

28. I have noticed even people who claim everything is predestined, and that we can do nothing to change it, look before they cross the road. - Steven Hawking



Funny quotes and sayings about life by famous people

29. Part of the good part of being a parent is a constant sense of deja vu. But some of what you have to vu you never want to vu again. - Anna Quindlen



Funny quotes and sayings about life by famous people

30. If the new father feels bewildered and even defeated, let him take comfort from the fact that whatever he does in any fathering situation has a fifty percent chance of being right. - Bill Cosby



Funny quotes and sayings about life by famous people

31. If I'd known I was going to live this long, I would have taken better care of myself! - Eubie Blake



Funny quotes and sayings about life by famous people

32. Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves. - Albert Einstein



Funny quotes and sayings about life by famous people

33. I know God promises not to give me more than I can handle. I just wish he didn't trust me so much. - Mother Teresa



Funny quotes and sayings about life by famous people

34. Parents are not interested in justice, they're interested in peace and quiet. - Bill Cosby



Funny quotes and sayings about life by famous people

35. A well-developed sense of humor is the pole that adds balance to your steps as you walk the tightrope of life. - William A. Ward



Funny quotes and sayings about life by famous people

36. A good laugh is sunshine in a house. - William Makepeace Thackery



Funny quotes and sayings about life by famous people

37. I live by this credo: Have a little laugh at life and look around you for happiness instead of sadness. Laughter has always brought me out of unhappy situations. Even in your darkest moment, you usually can find something to laugh about if you try hard enough. - Red Skelton



Funny quotes and sayings about life by famous people

38. Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward. - Kurt Vonnegut



Funny quotes and sayings about life by famous people

39. Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face. - Victor Hugo



Funny quotes and sayings about life by famous people

40. I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly. - Winston Churchill



Funny quotes and sayings about life by famous people

41. There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them. - Anonymous



Funny quotes and sayings about life by famous people

42. If cats looked like frogs we’d realize what nasty, cruel little bastards they are. Style. That’s what people remember. -Terry Pratchett



Funny quotes and sayings about life by famous people

43. Laughter is to life what shock absorbers are to automobiles: It won't take the potholes out of the road, but it sure makes the ride smoother. - Barbara Johnson



Funny quotes and sayings about life by famous people

44. If you can't make it better, you can laugh at it. - Erma Bombec



Funny quotes and sayings about life by famous people

45. I don’t know the question, but sex is definitely the answer. - Woody Allen



Funny quotes and sayings about life by famous people

46. I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by. - Douglas Adams



Funny quotes and sayings about life by famous people

47. You are upgrading your technology, and you've not upgraded yourself! - Eric Thomas



Funny quotes and sayings about life by famous people

48. Two wrongs don’t make a right, but they make a good excuse. - Thomas Stephen Szasz



Funny quotes and sayings about life by famous people

49. I’m sure the universe is full of intelligent life. It’s just been too intelligent to come here. - Arthur C. Clarke



Funny quotes and sayings about life by famous people

50. When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they're not it. - Bernard Bailey



Funny quotes and sayings about life by famous people

51. Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead. - Charles Bukowski



Funny quotes and sayings about life by famous people

52. Life in a box is better than no life at all, I expect. You’d have a chance at least. You could lie there thinking: Well, at least I’m not dead. - Tom Stoppard



Funny quotes and sayings about life by famous people

53. Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera. - Anonymous



Funny quotes and sayings about life by famous people

54. The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it. - Terry Pratchett



Funny quotes and sayings about life by famous people

55. Life doesn’t imitate art, it imitates bad television. - Woody Allen



Funny quotes and sayings about life by famous people

56. Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert Heinlein



Funny quotes and sayings about life by famous people

57. Ugly truths are the biggest source of indigestion in humans. - Raheel Farooq



Funny quotes and sayings about life by famous people

58. If at first you don’t succeed then skydiving definitely isn’t for you. -Steven Wright



Funny quotes and sayings about life by famous people

59. If you can't laugh at your own problems, call me and I'll laugh at them. - Anonymous



Funny quotes and sayings about life by famous people

60. Life's a tough proposition but the first hundred years are the hardest. - Wilson Mizner



Funny quotes and sayings about life by famous people


61. There are so many times I made you angry, upset, irritated and tired. Today I just wanted to say that I'm thinking of continuing. - Anonymous

61 Funny quotes and sayings about life by famous people 61 Funny quotes and sayings about life by famous people Reviewed by Bliss Quote on November 24, 2019 Rating: 5
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